Had I only known, this was the calm before the storm…
I spent most of my life growing up on a small island in the Caribbean in an Asian/Caribbean household where “traditional” values were honoured.
At the same time, we moved a lot when I was younger to different places in North America. When I worked it out, we had moved 5 times in 7 seven years!
At the time, I felt like a ‘normal’ teenager just out of high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I wanted to do something that would help people, so I had planned to continue my studies in either psychology, physiotherapy, or business.
If you were to put a magnifying glass to my life, you would see that it was not the healthiest, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this.
I had been smoking longer than I would’ve liked to admit, hanging out with friends 24/7, and not really doing much with my life. I didn’t have the discipline and motivation to do anything and I didn’t love myself enough to stop my bad habits. I was young and “living life”.
My mom had described the teenage phase to me once as, “aliens abducting your child for a few years and leaving behind someone you don’t really know. Then after a while, they bring them back…most of the time :)”
On the inside, there was a whirlwind of things going on…any overthinkers in the house?
In the crazy teenage phase of finding myself, being an addict, and working through my many insecurities, I convinced myself I was the ‘black sheep’ of my family and began to play the part. These things caused my confidence to take a nosedive and as a result, I was too afraid to step out and try or do anything. Failure was scary and uncomfortable and it was easier to do nothing.
And then it (my real life shift) happened…
The summer after high school I found out I was pregnant and the severity of the situation shocked me to my core.
I was not naive to the responsibilities of bringing up a child. My mom at one point had a Montessori connected to our home and at another point, had a daycare IN our home. So, there was a time in my house, between myself, my siblings, my adopted cousins, and the daycare, there were easily 16 of us under one roof! I don’t know how my parents did it.
But here I was, faced with this life-changing experience and no tools under my belt. I had no job, no degree, no husband…only a boyfriend who had no job and no degree.
I was an addict, had no direction, and I was about to be the biggest disgrace my traditional family had ever had.
Telling my parents was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, telling my grandparents was even harder; and I’m sure, them having to hear it, was the hardest of all.
I was at an all-time low in my life and felt backed against a wall. I agonized about how I would make all this work; how could I- a lost, confused, directionless teenager even begin to shape the life of another human being if I was in such a mess myself? These thoughts and emotions consumed me until one day, I finally dug my heels in and said “I’ve got to get my life together!”
I’m pretty sure my language was a little more colourful than that, but you get the idea :)
It was here that I discovered that personal development is a HUGE key to success in all areas of life. The things I didn’t know, the person I wanted to be, the confidence I didn’t have, I could LEARN. I was able to not only cope, but I learned to handle and enjoy life, through the knowledge I sought out from books, courses, and mentors.
I also learned how our efforts coupled with God or grace or life or the Universe or whatever you may call it; I learned that these two things can come together to create something truly beautiful.
My family showed me incredible support and the true meaning of love, even though it was hard. My daughter was cherished and loved and in an exceptional position being the first grand and great-grandchild on both sides of the family.
I found strength despite my struggles and I threw myself into self-development to be the best mother I could be. I did courses, read books, sought out mentors, and devoted my life to learning to be the best version of myself, for my child.
My husband and I say our daughter saved our lives. If it weren’t for her we may have still been going down that confused, directionless road. Six years after she was born, we decided to get married (we wanted to make sure we were right for one another) and we continued to apply our passion for personal development to our relationships, our health, and our business life.
And was that it? Happily ever after?
Abso freaking lutely not!
In trying to juggle it all- wife, mother, homemaker, business owner… my mental and physical health came crashing down.
As a result of overwork and overwhelm, my anxiety levels went through the roof and crippled my life. On top of that, I got diagnosed with hypoglycemia (a health condition that is a precursor to diabetes) and ended up battling these two health conditions for years.
I remember asking one of my mentors,
“How? How do you juggle the house, the business, being a mother, being a wife, and all the things in between?” I was stacking my hands one on top of each other like I was building a mound.
And I remember, she listened patiently and said to me:
“Well, what if you looked at it more like a plate and you have different portions for each area of your life…a piece for your family, a piece for your business, a piece for your health…”
And this struck a chord with me.
I ended up spending the last 2 decades (21 years of my life) learning about personal development and seeking out knowledge from some of the best in the world.
This allowed me to gain the tools to manage my life, help others and become a life coach and entrepreneur.
I overcame the panic and anxiety that was a result of being overwhelmed and overworked in order to juggle it all, I continue to heal my body from my medical condition and for overall health, and my businesses are benefiting.
What does this mean?
That I continue to build a solid foundation for what I would call a good quality life- in a nutshell, establishing better health, wealth, and relationships.
I’m now at a point in my life where I can shift my focus to building our financial freedom while striving to maintain our life balance and make an impact at the same time.
The journey continues, and it is nothing short of interesting and exciting despite all the hardships and successes.
In the end, I am grateful for the good relationships we’ve created, and feel more peace and enjoyment in all areas of my life, than ever before.
I’m looking forward to continuing to carve out the life that I want and documenting my journey to and through Work-Life Balance.
Hoping to share my insights and findings, fears and failures, accomplishments, and dreams!
